Attack of the Wiggy Bangs

A comment in the last post got me thinking about something that I see quite often on the red carpet but was hesitant to bring up on this blog for two reasons. One, it's a hair police issue which can get heated sometimes and two, of the most recent perps are women that I just love: Joy Bryant and Kerry Washington

The issue is wiggy bangs.

Let me start by stating that I have nothing against a weave, a relaxer or a natural. I firmly believe that we are all sisters under the scalp even if some of us have chemical burns and track marks on ours.

Speaking as a person who in high school had a bi-level two toned jheri curl (technically it was a Wave Nouveau but it did just as much damage,) I simply cannot throw stones. To me, as long as a sister's hair is looking fly, I have no complaints.

But I cannot stand wiggy looking bangs. Bangs are tricky enough as it is. Really they are the follicular equivalent of those big ass sunglasses that skinny starlets were sporting two summers ago -- meaning that just because they are in style, that doesn't mean that you should sport them too.

On the wrong head bangs can make a woman's face look like a troll. If they are too long, a pot head; too short, and they make you look like an idiot who burned off her hair with a too hot curling iron.

This is complicated even more for full weave wearers. Choose the wrong texture and cut and suddenly those silky tresses look like rejected scraps from the Barbie wigging floor at Mattel. I'm talking lumpy, artificially shiny and fake as the friendships on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta."

Kelly Rowland' strikes a wiggy pose

That said, I'd take Barbie bangs over a crusty lace-front wig any day of the week. Seriously, some women (who shall remain nameless) are not even trying to hide that line of demarkation anymore *cough*Tyra*cough*.

It saddens me that I've seen Joy and Kerry sporting Barbie bangs recently. In the past I've tried to turn a blind eye but I had to get if off my chest:

Ladies, if your six year old god daughter has taken to hiding her dolls anytime you come around, it might be your bangs!

Please take those overwhelming bangs down and start over. Extension bangs can be done right but you might have to comparison shop or find a weaver with a special bang guarantee. Do this so you can just go back to being fabulous and I can go back to fawning.

I should add that bad bangs also afflict the weaveless and occasional piece wearer. A careful study of Jada Pinkett Smith reveals that her bang game has varying degrees of success and failure. You be the judge here:

Okay I'm done.

Kerry Washington in Missoni S/S 09

I go back and forth between liking and not liking this dress and I think it's because of the pockets. Kerry looks a lot better than the model here in my opinion. The model just looks like she was sent here from another galaxy to enslave our planet one maxi dress at a time. What do you think? Also, how do you feel about non-casual dresses with pockets?

S: Lipstick Alley/Style.com

Kerry Washington in Armani Privé S/S 2008

Ordinarily, I admire her fashion sense. Honestly, I think she's one of the most consistently best dressed actresses in Hollywood but I'm not sure how I feel about this ensemble. I think that for once,  I actually prefer it on the model. To get away with all the frothy pleating it helps if one is six foot tall and with not a curve in sight. It may just be the angle but I think that length on Kerry makes her look a little squatty.

Photo source: Jezebel and Style.com

Kerry Washington in Allure 2/08

Yep. Another Kerry post. She has a fantastic sense of style and is so elegant and beautiful that I couldn't help but share this edition of Allure's "Fashion Stakeout" here. I love how uncomplicated most of her looks are. Very glad to see that she's getting more recognition on the style pages and I hope that it translates into better quality movie roles for her. That green Doo.Ri gown is one of my all-time favorites.

Source: Thank you Luxx for scanning these images & uploading to TFS!

NYT: Kerry Goes to Washington

I don't do too many celebrity posts but I loved these photos of Kerry Washington (shot by Bruce Gilden for The New York Times magazine) so much that I felt compelled to share them. Nothing looks more dramatic or sophisticated than a well executed black and white shot.

Here's is the accompanying article, if you are interested:

She played the wife of Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland,” but nothing quite prepared Kerry Washington for the “guerrilla artistry” required to shoot the Bruce Gilden photo essay, “Party Girl,” for the Style pages of this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine. For a day-and-a-half, the politically-minded and aptly-named actress jostled for photo ops and glad-handed pols across party lines, all while maintaining impeccable eye makeup. For this feat, she gets our vote. The Moment asked Washington to take the podium and give us her style platform.

How did the shoot go?
It was a unique experience. It was almost an anthropological study of the state of campaigns in this country. So much is about performance. There is a level of artistry that makes you feel like the worlds of fashion and Hollywood and politics organically fit together — though at times it feels like oil and water. At the amphitheatre where Barack Obama spoke, I ran into paparazzi who I know from doing what I do in this town. They were star struck by the photographer Bruce Gilden and wanted me to introduce them. It was this wonderful role reversal.

What did you think of the clothes?
Shoulders were a big theme this season in fashion. The suits were all very strong, smart and elegant. I feel like femininity — as an energy — is really present in this election. Our leader in the Senate is running, and everyone understands that we need more nurturing, caretaking and housecleaning energy in politics right now. It was really fun to bring a real feminine element into the political sphere.

Would any of the looks work on the Hill?
As with most high fashion, there are versions that could fly in Washington.

Once you’ve shown some cleavage, are you dead in Washington? If you ever ran for office, would your Hollywood wardrobe be held against you?
No, I don’t think so. Arnold has shown a lot of skin over the years.

Do you want to run for office?
I would love to work in D.C. in public policy, but I don’t know if a person who is great on the campaign trail is necessarily a leader. My dream is to be the next Jane Alexander. I want to do whatever I can to make democracy sexy — to make political awareness and fluency exciting and rock-star.

What should politicians be wearing?
There are a lot of fashion rules in D.C., but in some ways that’s important. When I was in junior high and high school, I wore a uniform. It’s amazing how much of your brain is free to think about other things when you don’t have to think about clothes. Men in positions of power have been wearing the same thing for decades, while we are thinking about the latest “it” bag once a week. It disempowers us and keeps us from engaging in larger issues. At the same time, I appreciate fashion as an art form and a social calculator. I’ve developed on-going relationships with designers like Jean Paul Gaultier, Oscar de la Renta and Alberta Ferretti out of mutual respect.

Do $400 haircuts and Brioni suits send the wrong message?
I think when candidates are honest, we can take it into account and keep moving. We have to be careful not to judge a book by its cover. Everyone should have an Oscar suit — why not? We should all feel good about what we put on the morning. We should feel empowered by what we are wearing and have freedom of choice and the ability to express ourselves. Personally, I have been gravitating towards sustainable fabrics and fair trade. I like American Apparel because it’s not sweatshop labor.

What about fur?
It has to be taken in context. Do you live in the Arctic? Is it new fur? Is it your grandma’s? I have a very, very old fur that my grandmother left me. I don’t know if I’ll ever wear it, but if I move to Chicago, maybe. Or I might make it into bunch of teddy bears for kids with cancer.

Your vote for the best campaign bandwagon attire?
I like a lot of things. But I have a “Women for Obama” pin that means a lot to me.

Will you publicly support a candidate?
Yes. I’m getting really close to that. Seeing Barack Obama live during this shoot was a transformative experience. Really, my politics are probably closer to Dennis Kucinich. I am a huge fan of his; however, Barack Obama is really what this country needs right now.

Red or Blue?
I’d say green.